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Legal letter to GAP's Lawyers

I spotted a Crap Gap t-shirt by French Connection in December 2014 and here is the letter I sent to GAP's Lawyers to have the t-shirt removed!
Crap Gap Fcuk Gap t-shirt French Connection King Cnut Dave Griffiths C U in Court
And here's the letter written out:-
Dear Legal Clearance,
 
Do you guys mind if I call you 'Legal'? Thanks. You see, I've been chatting with Amanda in Branding (isn't she great?). She suggested I drop you a line as she thought you might be interested in this little story. 
 
The other day I was on the Amazon website here in the UK, browsing away in time for Father Christmas’, who I think you call Santa Claus, visit on the 25th next month, when I came across this following item for sale. I'll warn you now, it might be upsetting:
 
 
I'm sorry you had to read that, Legal. I imagine all of you at Gap work really hard all year round, and for someone to come along and call you Crap just isn't fair. As we say in England, "it's just not cricket". 
 
For what it's worth, I think you're far from crap I emailed the link to loads and loads and loads of my friends, and some of them said you weren't crap too. I thought who is doing this to the lovely people at Gap? I thought it must be some crazy kid in his bedroom in Ohio just passing the time watching I Love Lucy, so imagine my surprise then when I discovered it was the official Amazon store of a UK-based global clothes manufacturer called French Connection. If you haven't heard of them, don't worry they were kind of a big deal a few years back. They are also branded as FCUK (geddit? It looks like another word. LOL!!!!!). They had a turnover last year of just under $300million dollars so I suppose they're still a little bit of a big deal although not in comparison to your $16 billion turnover well done!! They've been around since 1972 and as my mother would say 'they're old enough to know better!'
 
Now, you might be thinking this is just some innocent coincidence. A brilliant designer at French Connection who has never heard of GAP has innocently put the word 'Crap' in a white serif font inside a blue box. But then I read French Connection’s title and description for the t-shirt on their official Amazon UK trading store, and this is what it said:
 
Title - “French Connection Crap Gap Logo Short Sleeve T-Shirt White” 
 
Description - "This simple yet stylish tee is a tongue-and-heek take on the 'Gap' branding logo". 
 
Turns out it was no mistake and they were saying GAP is CRAP! (I think they meant to say tongue-in-cheek, but attention to detail doesn't seem to be their forte!!) What’s going to be their next tounge-in-cheek t-shirt Crap Kids or Baby Crap or even Fcuk Gap?! When will they stop having a go at GAP.
 
Now, I don't want you people at Gap taking this all personally. It's not your fault. It turns out you're not the only people French Connection have been horrible to. Over the years they have taken other people's trademarks and abused them, some of them might well be friends of yours - Pepsi, Ford, 20th Century Fox and Mars are just a few I can think of at the moment. Now don't worry you don't have to get on the phone to Pepsi etc as over the years I've taken the liberty of informing them myself. French Connection have since withdrawn all of these trademark infringements - there just seems to be you left out on a limb at the moment!
 
So, I want to help you guys out like I did all the other companies. Sometimes it's just the right thing to do. I don't think that French Connection should be allowed to tell people that Gap is Crap. So, I've set up a website calledwww.gapisnotcrap.com to help you fight against this terrible slander, I can imagine you're all pretty thankful but there’s really no need as it cost less than they're selling the Crap Gap t-shirt for on Amazon.
 
Here's what I'm also going to do for you guys at Gap - I have a few thousand people on my facebook and twitter groups, together with around ten thousand on my mailing list. I thought it would be nice to share what's happening to you with as many of them as possible, and ask them to tell as many people as possible, especially at the start of the festive season. I thought I'd share this email with them. I'll even make sure I keep the website gapisnotcrap.com live for as long as French Connection continue to sell those t-shirts. Join with me, and let's tell the world. GAP IS NOT CRAP. 
 
I very much look forward to hearing from you.
 
Your friend in battle,
 
Dave Griffiths
Founder, proprietor and single employee of King Cnut Clothing (except my mum who is Company Secretary)
 
About King Cnut Clothing
King Cnut Clothing was established in 1999 His t-shirt Company attracted attention from the huge corporation French Connection due to him proudly wearing his King Cnut t-shirts whilst working as a stand-up. This legal case inspired Dave to write and perform a sell out Edinburgh Show called C U in Court which is presently being made into a major documentary due for release in 2015
Dave Griffiths
King Cnut Clothing
'Fighting injustice since 1016''
Website to help GAP: www.gapisnotcrap.com
FCUK GAP GAP is Crap t-shirt French Connection GAP Inc Dave Griffiths C U in Court King Cnut
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